The KOMPLIKHAYTA (Anonymous)

This week at work has been spent tracking down and profiling some software I''ve been maintaining for a few months. Why? Because the original author was "A Komplikhayta". What does this odd term mean? Read it back. Yes. The scourge of the software development world - the coder who can make even the simple eternally complicated.

These people probably exist in all walks of life. They are people to be distrusted, avoided. However, they are also people who need schooling. It is my experience that truly great people boil a problem down to it's simplest level and solve it from there. Of course, not all problems are simple. However, the Komplikhayta could not be let near a complex problem because they would turn it in to an impossible problem. There is a large movement within software development circles lead by the XP people striving for simplicity and openness, but the Komplikhayta detests this. The Komplikhayta likes bespoke solutions, hand-crafted (by themselves of course) and regards pretty much everything else written as inferior. This superiority complex drives them to produce more outlandish, complicated solutions to the very simple. The Komplikhayta likes complex. It keeps him employed.

Can anyone give me examples of The Komplikhayta in other circles? Do they exist? Are they always wrong? Comments please...

Oh, and the bizarre spelling is courtesy of an MSN convo between Kenshi and myself. It started as complicatah in true Wu-Tang stylee, and descended from there. I believe the final masterstroke was mine, managing to get HATER in there, albeit spelled wrongly. Sorry.

Mind like a razor blade. (Anonymous)

Aging is bad. As I approach the end of my twenties I find myself losing the edge that youth gave me. Whereas I used to solve problems for breakfast, now they whizz around in my brain confusing me, frustrating me, taunting me. This is a phenomenon I call "fatherhood". Now I'm sure the Bill Joy's of this world have 10 children and still get time to knock out a couple of revolutionary file-sharing protocols in their tea-break, but us mere mortals can not compete with this. I am always tired; at work, at home, even when I'm asleep. Relentless never-ending tiredness. Now I'm not complaining, my daughter is the best thing to happen to me since I met my wife, and is 20 times more rewarding than any solved problem, completed level or smug moment on #edge.

BUT...

When I'm sitting here at 11pm trying to start a simple little hobby coding project and I can't even start something is wrong. Seriously wrong. I have a mind like a razor blade, it's just old and rusty and over-used. And a bit chipped.

Coder's block is a horrible affliction. Ideas? Check. Inclination? Check. Tools? Check. Brain?... brain?.... BRAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNN?.... nothing. I am thinking of ways of remedying the situation. A week of good sleep and a 2 week holiday might be a good start, which is lucky seeing as I go on holiday next week. Maybe just stepping away from coding for a month would be a plan. Or maybe MORE coding? Maybe a different language - Kenshi alluding to Ruby Rails has set my mind on web-apps again. So we'll see. If I could just shake off this tiredness...

Forums, Boredom (k3nshi)

I see Bored People.

Seeing as a certain web forum is down, and other people are incredibly bored, I thought people might find some inspiration at 43things.com.

Who says I dont care?

Game Completion - PoP: Sands of Time (k3nshi)

I finally completed Prince of Persia: Sands of Time today. I had previously left it at a highly annoying level which simply consisted of lots and lots of combat. The combat in PoP isn't bad but its not exactly amazing either. Today I finally bothered to persevere enough to get past that section. The game ending is a bit of an anti-climax (a really lame end of game boss encounter). Overall though the game is pretty good, a really nice art direction and pretty satisfying to play. I'm even slightly curious about the sequel Warrior Within - I wouldn't mind playing it just to see what they've changed and how well or badly the end result is.

Of course, the nice thing about completing games is that it gets rid of the annoying guilty feeling you (well I at least) get when I buy yet another new game. Of course, I still have loads of games which are pretty much unplayed and so far from completion its quite silly.

The DS. Why is it so good? (Anonymous)

I've gone from utterly underwhelmed, to completely disinterested, to strangely intrigued and now to totally charmed by the Nintendo DS since it's unveiling last summer. It's a strange beast that's for sure, something that feels completely fresh yet dated, ugly and poorly designed but a joy to use and built to appeal to hardcore and non gamers in equal measure. Now I'm no hardcore gamer, but I'm not a non-gamer. I bought Ikaruga, true, but never played beyond the third level because it was too hard. I never bought Wario Ware for the GBA. I am am the very definition of middlecore. Could this be my ideal console?

Yes. The DS is perfect. Now before I receive the full wrath of Nintendo anti fan-boys, let me qualify that. It's perfect for me. Sure, the thing was obviously designed by a retarded Iowan farm-boy on a bad day - it's too big, it looks and feels cheap (although still adheres to Nintendo's bulletproof hardware ethos - Sony, take note PLEASE) and looks stupid next to a PSP. But the GAMES....

Wario Ware is brilliant of course. It starts slowly, but within 10 minutes it kicks in, punches you in the face and shouts FUN at you over and over again. Mario 64 is good, although I have yet to feel comfortable with it (bad point no 4 - the bulk of the console means the touchscreen can be uncomfortable to use). But Polarium is the big hitter. A game SOOO good even my wife is addicted. Insanely simple, insanely addictive and basically the perfect handheld game. It's immediate, tactile, intelligent gaming following in the Tetris school of simplicity.

With Meteos, Yoshi Touch N Go, Mario Kart and others on the horizon the future looks bright for the DS. I hope people see past the frankly disgraceful design and pick it up and play games like Polarium and see that this thing might just provide them with some much needed fun.

Currently Playing (k3nshi)

k3nshi: Mr Driller on GBA. More stuff here when I can actually decide what to play this weekend.

+++ Promised Update +++

Today I bothered to slam Donkey Kong vs Mario back into the GBA. I took the easy route through the level which had been bugging me and am now enjoying the game again. Maximo is locked into the PS2, haven't played it yet... maybe later tonight. Easter is wicked - more games playing will ensue over the next day or two.

What about you motherbitches?

God of War Blog (k3nshi)

Issue 148 (April 2005) of Edge has a nice article about God of War (PS2) in it. They mention that the designer of the game has a blog, but fail to provide the URL. Fortunately search engines exists, so I can point you here. Wicked innit?

Boredom takes hold (Van123)

It's the Easter holidays, two weeks off school. I've just finished my first week off. Not done much at all. Watched a bit of the TV I've downloaded. Played around with Photoshop a lot. That's pretty fun. I admit I'm not the best at it, not by any means. But I think I'm getting pretty good at it. I like art, not just complex stuff, but really simple stuff too. I uploaded a bit of stuff to deviantART, and that's kept me busy for a few days. With the forum being down, I need something else to do.

I'm kind of glad that the forum's down, cos it means I have to find new stuff to do. Unfortunately, the new stuff still involves me sitting infront of a screen. It's a sad life. Youths these days, we have no real direction. Gone are the days of street football, and cricket in the park. In this digital era, teenagers have no incentive to do anything but stay in and play videogames, or go to the park to smoke. That's depressing, isn't it? Relying on machines and drugs for fun? I'd like the say that I'm opposed, becuase I am, but at the same time, I like it. I've decided to stop the 'nabis now. I've come to realise it's stupid. You smell. You get tired. And it makes me feel a bit ill. Not to mention the money wasted and the time taken thinking up excuses of why I smell of smoke. There's no point. I'll pick it up again in Uni, maybe.

So I got invited to a mainstream party. Everyone's going, and it's just up the road. But i'm not sure I can handle 4 hours of RnB blasting into my skull. And the garage. Oh dear Lord the garage. But I might bring a few people back to my house to sleep afterwards, that'll be fun. I can easily accomodate for them, but not if they all want to stay in the same room. That'll be a tight squeeze, but it's all fun. Specially cos I like to sleep naked.

I've hardly left the house, and I'm not sure I really want to. It's sad. It's very sad indeed. Sure, I want to leave the house, but I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to go smoke with people, because I'm giving up, remember? And I don't want to go shopping becuase I know I'll spend all my money - and I've not got a lot. I'm going to do something next week, though. I don't know what, but I'm going to leave the house.

This has been a boring week, I have to make the effor to change things.

In conclusion: Bring back the forum.

Official hash edge opinion (k3nshi)

I jokingly asked about the official hash edge position on Gwyneth Paltrow. Of course the whole notion of a unified hash edge opinion is a complete joke. With people like corps and Meh whose judgement abilities are completely broken, there is no way there could ever be one single voice, or definitive judgement by hash edge. Hell, some people even liked Super Mario Sunshine.

Contrast this with Edge, and their need to muster the One True Voice of Gaming Judgement upon everything.

I'm a MAN, not a troll (Anonymous)

This blog entry comes courtesy of Kenshi, WoW hater...

I've stopped playing World of Warcraft. After just 3 weeks I decided enough was enough, logged in to wow-europe.com and cancelled my subscription. "Why?" I hear our 2 loyal readers scream. Because it's not a game. It's a job, a lifestyle and the biggest waste of time I have ever invested in. It's also brilliantly designed, beautifully realised and a lot of the people playing are decent. But it's not for me. Here, in a handy bullet point list, is why.

• It's really really made for people with too much time on their hands who should probably go out and have sex with someone else.


• The only indicator of character progression is a level. A number.


• You start to gel with a couple of players, do some quests and have a laugh. Then you don't play for three days, return to the game and they're 10 levels beyond you and doing a loads of quests the game won't let you do.


• It's too linear. There's a big world out there to explore, but artificial boundaries are everywhere (high level enemies basically) meaning casual players can't see most of the map.


• It's actually very shallow. What is boils down to is clicking on enemies to find stuff to sell to buy new stuff to enable you to kill more things to get to better areas to get better stuff.... blah, blah, blah.


• Orcs and goblins are a bit boring.

The MMORPG genre is intriguing but ultimately lacks something. Something to break it out of the levelling, clicking, buying, selling rut to appeal to a non-geeky male audience. WoW is undeniably a great "game" (for want of a better word) with an amazing gameworld to explore. But it is not fun.

I'm going to stick to my DS for a while. Polarium is wonderful. And fun.

Just when you think you're out... (k3nshi)

So resisting Darwinia was pretty easy. All I had to do was look at the pile of unplayed games on my shelf (including Warcraft 3). And then I thought I was truly out of the gaming loop - I mean, unlike others I was smart enough to see WoW for what it was and easily DENIED it any dominion over me (wait for spunz's AMAZING "I'm a Man, not a Troll" forthcoming blog entry to see what I mean). Nintendo DS? Too ugly and the games are too expensive. DENIED. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater? Hahahaha - no chance. GT4? Zzzzzzzzzzz....

But of course, its never *that* easy. Resident Evil 4. As pimped by just about every mofo gamer I know. "You need to play this game!". "It's exCellent K3nshi! Get it - you wont regret it!". And so in a moment of boredom and weakness I placed the order. Capcom pwn me yet again and drag me back into the gaming fold. God of War and Wipeout Pure on the PSP look set to pwn me in the future too. Oh and I suppose I really should get Wario Ware on the GBA or the new Wario Ware Twist thing when it comes out.

And I almost made it. Almost...

Background Movies (k3nshi)

Background movies: movies you can happily play in the background whilst you get on with something else. What makes a good background movie? I think there is a complex interplay between the actual quality of the film and its pacing. A good film with a pretty fast pace makes a poor background movie (BGM): you'll find yourself watching the film, not doing the tasks you were meant to be doing. But you cant rule out good films for background movie material, good films with the right pacing can be perfect BGMs. A really crap film is no good either: you wont watch it at all, and might as well have nothing on in the background. But a crap film with the odd entertaining scene could be perfect a BGM.

Some films that have proved to be good BGMs:

• Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow
  
• X-Men 2
  
• The Mask
  
• Blade 2
  
• Bad Boys 2

Contrast with some films that serve as poor BGMs:

• Any of the Lord of the Rings films
  
• Blade
  
• Bad Boys
  
• Terminator 1 & 2
  

Daddy got smacked down? (k3nshi)

"The real news isn't Stringer's rise, but Ken Kutaragi's fall.

Ken Kutaragi is the so-called 'father of the PlayStation' -- an engineer who rose nearly to the top at Sony by being brash and taking risks. Kutaragi, a lifer like everyone else at Sony (except Stringer). made his name inside the company through his unique ability to fire his boss. That's right, fire his boss, and sometimes, his boss's boss."

Robert X Cringely says Ken was set up and has no friends!

Why democracy is a BAD thing. Sometimes. (the_debaser)

This terror bill that that Blair's lot are trying to put through, which allows people to be incarcerated in their homes for an indefinite amount of time without ever being put to trial or even knowing what they are supposed to have done, is a morally reprehensible piece of legislation, as any level headed person would agree.

Its quite clearly something designed to cover Tony's back should any terrorist attack ever occur over here. If something happens we'll get: 'Well we did everything we could, with locking up all these Muslims. What else could we have done?'. And if it doesn't get passed as legislation, that smarmy twat will simply say 'Told you so - should've listened to me'.

Anyway, fair play to our peers for rejecting the bill, and thank God for a second house of non-elected toffs. They seem to have more sense that the buffoons that we put into the commons most of the time. Yes.

Lets just hope the Commons doesn't end up forcing it through.

Multiplayer Configuration: Social Gaming Redux (k3nshi)

This picture seems all too wrong. A load of people playing a MMORPG game (Tibia in this case), in the same room. You can imagine the disparaging statements non-gamers would make looking at this picture - I know I laughed when I saw it. Even the slightly more conventional layout of many players around one one console and TV can seem anti-social to non-gaming eyes.

But what if the layout was that of a central, lowered display, with players sat around it and facing each other. In other words the standard board game kind of layout. Suddenly this "geeky hobby" is socially acceptable, family fun.

Unless its an RPG with lead figures and 20 sided dice of course. That's just wrong no matter the configuration of the players and board.

Half-Life 2 sweeps Bafta awards (Wickedkitten)

Half-Life 2 sweeps Bafta awards:
PC first person shooter Half-Life 2 wins six Bafta Awards, including best game and best online.

Jef Raskin, March 9, 1943 - February 26, 2005 (k3nshi)

"At that time, Raskin had fallen out with Steve Jobs, and was shortly to be eased out of his job with Apple. His job there had been to design the Mac, something his break with Jobs meant was not credited to him - they even left his signature off the inside of the Mac case, which supposedly had everybody's name who was associated with the project. Only years later was he recognised as 'the father of the Mac' and I think it was the millionth Macintosh which was presented to him to honour that achievement."

Obituary by Guy Kewney

More information about a genius:

• The Jef Raskin Center


• Articles from Jef Raskin about the history of the Macintosh


• Jef Raskin entries at Folklore.org