2007: Challenging conditions, failure, some professional success. (k3nshi)
I ended the 2006 review with a hope:
'I still feel tired and apathetic as 2006 trickles away. Here's hoping 2007 brings a lot of energy, focus and success.'
That hope spectacularly failed to materialise into any tangible gains. The first half of 2007 saw me caught in the grip of the same crushing apathy that held me in 2006. The health problems of members of my immediate family deteriorated to an all time low during the year, massively amplifying stress levels. Family life was extremely difficult right throughout most of 2007, and this would prove to be the anthem for the year.
I didn't get as much work done that I had wanted to in the first half of the year. Projects and ideas languished or failed to get to even an early alpha status. Books remained unread, desired new knowledge proved elusive. In this gloom, one project did make it to launch: Eye It Up!. Needless to say the expected, rabid audience failed to turn up unless constantly cajoled and coerced into a minimal level of participation. Despite this I think Eye It Up! is my best failure to date. I got some very positive feedback from complete strangers which is always nice. I also learnt a lot of interesting lessons, developed a fun project and beat Digg's implementation by god knows how many months.
A somewhat more successful project in some respects was alive. Always intended to be some throwaway tool which I expected almost no user interest from, I found people pestering me for new features and finding the tool useful. Ironically, I got to witness my friends use this tool to record massive, impressive and sustained improvements in their fitness whilst my own fitness went spectacularly the other way.
In times of stress I find solace in a cake, pizza and other great (bad) food. I didn't meditate all year. I barely went to the gym save a few sporadic visits. I end 2007 in the worst physical shape of my life.
2007 has not been a total write off however. In a professional capacity 2007 has been very good to me. Lucrative contract work in a specialist field, minimal interference in my work by managers, a phenomenally good client. I also made time to go to various events and conferences which were all interesting in one way or the other.
Around November, almost out of the blue the situation at home massively improved. This is a huge relief and quite literally takes a tonne of pressure off me. Yet, I am left facing 2008 feeing older, wearier and with a distinct lack of the old energy and motivation.
I recognise that I am at a critical juncture in my life with a choice of accepting an 'easier' life of compromise and wasted ambition, or facing the harder (futile?) task of reinvigorating and reinventing myself.
So 2008 approaches rapidly and presents me with an uncompromising challenge: Can I get my edge back after over a year of decline and stagnation? And beyond that: can I succeed where previously I have consistently failed?
